英语笑话：Did you hear about ...?
Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words blind, deaf, saw, heard an
英语笑话：English Joke - Factory Workers
Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, I can make the boss give me the day off. The man replies, And how would you do that? The woman says, Just wait and see. She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, What are
The patient says, Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea. The doctor says, Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink. mug = cup The patient says, Doctor, you've got to help me. Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attent
英语笑话：2 More Short Jokes: Homework & On the Bus
A teacher is talking to a student. Teacher: Did your father help you with your homework? Student: No, he did it all by himself. On a crowded bus, one man noticed that another man had his eyes closed. What's the matter? Are you sick? No, I'm okay. It'
英语笑话：English Joke - The Monk
monk = a religious man who spends much time praying and thinking about religion. monastery = a place where monks live. a vow of silence = a promise not to speak A man wanted to become a monk so he went to the monastery and talked to the head monk. Th
英语笑话：English Joke - Boy or Girl
A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl? B: It's a girl. She's my daughter. A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father. B: I'm not. I'm her mother.
英语笑话：The Trains Are Always Late
A man was complaining to a railroad engineer. What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late. The railroad engineer replied. How would we know they were late, if we didn't have a schedule?
英语笑话：English Joke - Baby Brother
Two children are talking. A: Meet my new born brother. B: Oh, he is so handsome! What's his name? A: I don't know. I can't understand a word he says.
英语笑话：English Joke - Call Me a Taxi
A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi. B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.
英语笑话：English Joke - Looking for a Wife
Fred is 32 years old and he is still single. One day a friend asked, Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife? Fred replied, Actually, I've found many women that I have wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet
The mother says to her daughter, Did you enjoy your first at school? The daughter answers, First day? Do you mean I have to go back again tomorrow? Principal: I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all of your teachers. What have you been doing?
英语笑话：Two More "Dialog" Jokes
A: I was born in California. B: Which part? A: All of me. A: Excuse me. Do you know the way to the zoo? B: No, I'm sorry I don't. A: Well, it's two blocks this way, then one block to the left.
英语笑话：Two More Riddles
Q: What has many keys but can't open any doors? A: A piano. Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? A: Yes, because the Empire State Building can't jump!
英语笑话：English Joke - Coins
A guy says to his friend, Guess how many coins I have in my pocket. The friend says, If I guess right, will you give me one of them? The first guy says, If you guess right, I'll give you both of them.
英语笑话：English Joke - $100 Bill
A: Why are you late? B: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. A: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? B: No, I was standing on it.